Skid Marks VS Granny Panties- The Differences Between Men and Women

 Skid Marks VS Granny Panties The Differences Between Men and Women

 

Even though this is a money-saving blog, from time to time I like to write about something else. After all, life isn’t all about coupons and deals.

My Google+ friend Andrew wrote an article entitled 10 Things Women Do That Really Put Their Guys to The Test. Of course this is coming from a man’s perspective. He touches on are how men feel about a variety of subjects like childbirth or the way women seem to talk too much or too fast to name a few. You can read his article to see what he had to say.

I’ve had a top ten list in my mental Rolodex for years about the things that men do that put their gals to the test. It wasn’t until I read Andrew’s article that I felt the need to type them up before I got too old to remember what they are. Naturally, this isn’t to say that men in general drive me nuts but it’s more about the little things like Andrew touched on about us girls. Okay, what I really needed was a rebuttal for us females…so shoot me.  When comparing our two lists, it brings home the differences between men and women.

So here’s my list. See if you can relate or can add to it!

1)  Men want to “Fix” women when we’re upset. When it comes to emotions, women don’t want men to fix us…we need you to simply listen. Offer your broad shoulder and let us get things off our chest, even if it’s a good crying jag. We know you hate to see us cry but hang in there, tell us you love us and that you’re there for us. We’ll feel better much sooner if you don’t try to “handle” us. By being a good listener, this opens up the opportunity for you to “handle” us in different ways later. 😉

2) Men leave out details and women talk too much. Even though I understand that most men can easily use up their days’ worth of words by noon, women have enough words to last days on end…I will concede this point. On the other hand, when you tell us a story, please stop leaving out details and telling it as if we were there too. We’re not mind readers. Because we’re wired to be detail oriented, women appreciate any and all details. Although, how you can remember every statistic for every single ball player – years before you were even born, still boggles my mind. Especially since you can rarely recall what you ate for lunch yesterday.

3) Men, childbirth will never be about you. In spite of the fact that woman are the ones that give birth, it goes without saying that men are the support system and rightfully so since it’s your baby too.  Nonetheless, this support status in no means excuses you from complaining when we cuss you out or squeeze your fingers off during labor. It’s not about you and sorry to say, never will be. You’re not the one pushing something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a lemon. If new fathers have a sore hand, a bruised ego or walk around in utter shock for a few days, that’s really not so bad is it? It could be a lot worse guys…does the word episiotomy mean anything?

4) Periods, PMS and penises are a part of life. Much like childbirth, there are things a woman’s body does naturally. They are a part of life we have absolutely NO control over. Trust me, if women COULD control those, we would and not for YOUR benefit. Men should be able to relate to this with what they deal with – their untimely erections! Although, why you feel the need to adjust your penises every five minutes (which always comes across like you have a case of crabs) let alone walk around with THOSE things is beyond me.

5) Men have a nemesis… feminine products is this thy name. Men hate to be asked to purchase feminine products…or anything closely related to them. Even if the tampons your wife needs comes in a small box and no one else in the store can read what they are – they hate it.  But seriously, it’s such a minuscule request in the larger scheme of life’s problems. I’m sure if any of you men needed some sort of penile pump thing-a-ma-jig or hemorrhoid cream, your ladies would be more than willing to make a store run on your behalf. I’m also pretty sure no one will think that box of maxi pads are for you anyway.

6) Men and women literally see things differently. Why is it that men never look another man in the eye while having a conversation? Men will stand side by side, looking out somewhere, at God knows what – and never have eye contact. Women look deeply into a person’s eyes. It’s how we gauge the depth and degree of someone’s character. Remember the saying, “The eyes are the window to the soul”?  Maybe that’s why women can tell when someone is either decent or full of crap!

There’s also a built-in magnet I’ve noticed over the years that attracts men’s eyes to a woman’s boobs.

“Hellooooo, my eyes are up here!”  I do not EVER recall speaking to a man while staring at their “package”.

7)  SKID MARKS VS GRANNY PANTIES. I’ve heard this complaint for years from friends of mine. It revolves around two unspoken expectations. If you don’t like it when we wear granny panties, then clean your butt better. Seeing a skid mark, let alone accidentally touching it while doing laundry is just nasty. Although I will attest to the amazing comfort granny panties can give a tired mom.

#8 SPORTS VS SHOES. Men love their sports. Nascar, basketball, football, baseball – any and all sports really. The relationship between men and sports is similar to that of the love affair women have with their shoes. The only difference is we keep our shoe collection in the closet and only take them for a spin when they match a particular outfit. Men seem to need constant sports statistics, replays, to read the sports section, listen to commentaries, watch playbacks on Tivo, text their friends the latest scores, keep track with their favorite sports apps and plug into sports talk-radio in order to feed the beast. While our shoe shopping may not be all that cost-effective, we can fit it in without taking time away from being with you – and are pros at hiding it. 😉

#9 War Documentaries VS Dancing with the Stars.Watching the same stories on the Military Channel never changes the outcome of history. So why watch the same one for the umpteenth time and bore us to death over and over? I’d rather clean pee off a toilet than have to endure any more of those shows. However, seeing who had the best dance on Dancing with the Stars is more current with an unpredictability you can’t beat. Now, will you please hand me the phone so I can call in my vote for Derek?

#10 Prep time.This is a contentious subject for many couples. We all know by now that men can get ready faster than most women. Men become unglued while waiting for their best girl to get ready. They constantly watch the clock yet it isn’t even on our radar. Why?

We’re busy! We’re laser focused on our long list of to-do’s like; plucking eyebrows, shaving legs and arm pits, washing, conditioning, drying, curling and setting our hair. Other important tasks include but are not limited to; putting on make-up, finding and coordinating the right outfit to enhance our body shape that may also require squeezing into a pair of Spanx. Choosing matching shoes and handbag is a no-brainer. We check, swap out purses and double-check our purse to be sure we have what we need in case something unexpected happens. Like when someone needs a wet napkin, a pen, crayons or hand sanitizer. See, we’re thinking ahead! Then there comes accessorizing, which every woman knows sets off everything like a star on a Christmas tree. We work hard to accomplish all of this.

We don’t do all of these things because we like it. Personally, I don’t exactly enjoy it. We do it to feel and look pretty so you’ll be proud to have us on your arm. Could we start earlier? Sure. The frustration is there for us too because we somehow believe we can do ALL of this much quicker than we actually can. Why do we think this? Because no matter how well we time it, we get taken off task by things like having to pick out clothes for everyone else in the family, something spills, a baby starts crying, the phone rings or the kids are fighting and in some instances these things can all happen simultaneously. There, now you know the secrets, reasons and methods to our madness. I will however, suggest this for you fellas. Take the reins and handle all of the static that distracts and pulls on us.

It would really help things run smoother and hopefully get us out the door a lot quicker. Thanks!
#11 SNORING SUCKS…the life out of me. Women loathe snoring because it keeps us awake all night and we can’t afford to be any more exhausted than we are already. I’ve lost count of how many wall shaking, eye’s peeled open nights I’ve experienced – and not from any “fun” or escapades we were having I might add. Men equally hate it when we wake you up to roll over on the side that doesn’t induce snoring. In the end, it’s the husbands that are keeping both of us up all night – which only exacerbates ALL of the things Andrew mentioned.

I believe I have just figured out that snoring is the root of all evil between men and women…lol.

Lastly, I’d like to mention that I adore my husband. Besides my own father, he’s the best man I know. He’s the only one I want to hear snore, wait for me to get ready, see enjoy sports, attempt to fix my troubles and leave out  details. He’s my best friend in the entire world and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Goodness knows he has his hands full with me!

PS. After I gave Andrew MY list, he told me  he doesn’t watch war documentaries therefore my entire list is invalid – lol. Men~

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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